When I looked through the list of blog topics for the summer, the option “Create a day for yourself and recap it.” jumped out at me. Even though I’m home full-time, I don’t often make the time to do something fun for me. Not counting my 6-day-a-week workouts, I have a handful of regular activities that I do once a month. I love that they provide me with something to look forward to each month, but I know I need to plan more time to do different things and/or pamper myself.
I immediately knew when I would create this day for myself. My husband and daughter take a trip to King’s Island each year in early July, and I knew that would be the perfect time. That just left me with figuring out what to do . . .
I started brainstorming, and several ideas came to mind. Visions of movie marathons, non-stop reading, manis and pedis all danced in my mind. The idea was that I would keep busy, all day, for the purpose of this blog post and one other very important reason.
You see, I have Binge Eating Disorder (BED). It has been a very long and painful journey, and I’ve only recently been able to open up about it with the help of my family, friends, and blog—The ‘No F-Bomb’ Zone. Part of this journey has been determining my triggers, and one of the biggest just so happens to be when my husband and daughter take their annual trip. I LOVE that they do this each year. Even though I would enjoy going with them, they need time to be alone together. The down side is that it is very difficult for me to watch the two most important people in my life drive away for a day or two. Every spouse/parent has their ‘thing’ and this just happens to be mine. So in years past, I would binge out All. Day. Long.
Well, I’ve been binge free since February 25, 2016. It may not seem like a long time, but it is amazing for me. Because of my past history and my recent success at controlling my binges, I was both looking forward to and dreading the day they took their trip.
I felt this blog assignment was the perfect plan to help keep me on the track of remaining binge free. I would plan lots of fun things I love and would be too busy to slip back into old habits.
However, something unexpected happened. I realized that what I actually needed the most was to be vulnerable. I needed to give myself a chance to confront my monster and know that I could hold my ground. I needed to do all the things I normally do, except the binging part.
The day of their trip arrived, and I started off going to the gym as normal. I go in early, so I was back home as they were finishing up their packing. I bid them farewell, took my shower, and put on my pajamas. Yep, I wore my pajamas all day long. And I worked. I caught up on emails and more importantly, I wrote. With it being summer, I haven’t had much opportunity to write with my daughter home.
But most importantly, I did not binge.
I know this probably doesn’t sound like a very exciting day for most of you, but it was exactly what I needed. Sometimes, the most extraordinary moments in our lives look like very ordinary moments to other people.
Don’t get me wrong, I’m still very interested in having a day where I watch a movie marathon or check into a spa for some serious pampering. However, for right now, I’m much happier to be able to say I am still binge free after walking through one of my biggest triggers.
B.R.A.G. Medallion Honoree
Be sure to check out Carrie’s post, The indiebrag on My Shelf and So, what kind of books do you write?